My Three Rules for Life (and Raising a daughter)

Some people raise kids with chore charts and curfews. I raised mine with three rules.

They’re simple enough to remember, deep enough to live by, and flexible enough to meet the chaos of a real life - not an idealised one.

These three rules shaped her, and they shaped me. They continue to guide how I make choices, how I treat people, and how I hold myself accountable.

Rule #1: Live With Love

If there is only one commandment worth keeping, it’s this one.

Living with love automatically covers the other nine. It’s the operating system behind compassion: kindness, tolerance, patience, and the freedom to let yourself and others be who they are without interference or judgement.

When we live with love, we naturally amplify the seven virtues - courage, temperance, justice, prudence, faith, hope, and charity - without even needing to recite them.

Love keeps us tethered to our humanity.

It asks us to treat life as sacred, to recognise the spark in every person, and to remember a truth our ancestors understood instinctively.

In Lak’ech - a Mayan phrase often translated as “I am another you” or “You are my other self.”

It’s an echo of interconnectedness.

A reminder that how you treat someone else is ultimately how you treat yourself.

If you live with love, you extend dignity outward and inward.

That’s the real curriculum.

Rule #2: Make Informed & Consensual Choices

Life is one long mosaic of decisions.

Some tiny, some seismic.

Most consequences take their time arriving, and then they arrive all at once. That’s why I taught my daughter to choose consciously.

Know what you’re selecting.

Understand the pros and the cons - not as a punishment, but as a practical evaluation of cost versus benefit.

The rules of physics apply to human behaviour too: everything has a price, and everything has a payoff.

Do your research.

Ask questions.

Don’t drift into decisions because someone else suggested it, expected it, or guilt-wrapped it.

And yes, use the body’s intelligence too.

Kinesiology - simple, self-administered muscle testing - can be a surprisingly clear instinctual guide.

The body doesn’t lie, even when the mind tries to negotiate.

An informed choice is a sovereign choice.

Consent isn’t only for transactions between people; it’s also the agreement you sign with your own future.

Rule #3: There Are No Rules, Just Don’t Get Caught

This one usually gets the raised eyebrows, but hear me out.

The world is full of invisible lines - social, cultural, bureaucratic, and occasionally ridiculous. These lines shift depending on the era, the country, the crowd, or who’s watching.

If you try to live by everyone else’s rules, you’ll have no room left to live by your own.

This rule isn’t about deceit; it’s about discernment.

It’s about knowing when structure serves you and when it limits you.

It’s about understanding that life includes grey zones, loopholes, workarounds, and creative interpretations.

Most importantly, it’s about integrity without self-punishment.

Don’t harm others.

Don’t harm yourself.

Don’t burn bridges you may need to cross again.

But don’t shrink yourself into compliance either.

“Don’t get caught” simply means:

Be aware of context.

Be clever enough to navigate life’s systems.

And if you’re going to bend the rules, make sure the bending serves growth - not destruction.

In the end, these three rules were never about controlling my daughter. They were about equipping her;

To love fiercely.

To choose wisely.

And to move through the world with courage, intelligence, and a little mischief - because a life without mischief is a life without magic.

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